i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
