When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
