I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
