Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
