did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
