Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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