So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
