dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
