My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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