Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I did not marry a roomba.
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