But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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