Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize