mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
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