Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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