Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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