Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
