She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
