After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
