Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
