I only kidnapped one of them. chill
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
In America we eat man semen.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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