Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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