saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
