i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
that's an acceptable place to lick
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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