Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize