You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You need Xanax blowdarts
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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