I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
