Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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