I wish I could teleport
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
