Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.