so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.