Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.

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  (917): K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs. http://tfl.nu/lbd0
  Replies (11) Good night (721) Bad night (1598)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.

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  (603): I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed. http://tfl.nu/bqzz
  Replies (27) Good night (794) Bad night (4596)
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  (209): View more from California

  Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?

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  (209): Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese? http://tfl.nu/1zro
  Replies (53) Good night (3592) Bad night (792)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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  (207): she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race http://tfl.nu/f3bd
  Replies (17) Good night (713) Bad night (3505)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging

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  (615): Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging http://tfl.nu/lrv8
  Replies (16) Good night (4309) Bad night (819)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.

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  (330): Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you. http://tfl.nu/fmxs
  Replies (38) Good night (8022) Bad night (1648)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...

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  (314): You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out... http://tfl.nu/a1pv
  Replies (7) Good night (6658) Bad night (1207)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity

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  (850): I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity http://tfl.nu/pmac
  Replies (6) Good night (3255) Bad night (1235)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.

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  (250): During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high. http://tfl.nu/970w
  Replies (6) Good night (949) Bad night (475)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club

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  (727): I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club http://tfl.nu/x5dg
  Replies (5) Good night (842) Bad night (314)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson

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  (630): I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson http://tfl.nu/858l
  Replies (8) Good night (787) Bad night (410)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?

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  (404): He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind? http://tfl.nu/kg6f
  Replies (9) Good night (1085) Bad night (459)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week

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  (303): The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week http://tfl.nu/55dt
  Replies (2) Good night (389) Bad night (649)
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  (707): View more from California

  I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm

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  (707): I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm http://tfl.nu/rltc
  Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (344)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.

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  (519): We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it. http://tfl.nu/woad
  Replies (2) Good night (425) Bad night (580)

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