all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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