how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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