I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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