So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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