I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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