why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
