your parents love me but you hate me
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
how does that bad decision feel?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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