she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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