We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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