I'm really into asian looking animals
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
