yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
