mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My first STD was from a foam party
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
