do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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