Yo dont text me then not text me
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
from now on my penis is your penis
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
