She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
