After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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