I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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