Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
