I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
