last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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