it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
