we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
