Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
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Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
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You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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