Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize