So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
