how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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