I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize