she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
