i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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